Self-Improvement Corner: Jason Sudeikis says….

I have stumble this article from co-stars with Owen Wilson for the film Hall Pass and wanted to share with you guys,
`Eight Simple, Effective, and Exciting Ways To Help You Never Get Anything You Want’ – how not to achieve anything you desire in life, be it friendship, a kiss goodnight, or world domination (especially if you’re an angry alien), shall we?
  1. Stop saying “PLEASE” and “THANK YOU” – being polite and grateful will make people more inclined to help you. And if people are willing to help you, you may accidentally get something you want. Replace them with placegolders, like “NOW” and “ABOUT TIME”.
  2. Avoid all eye contact – an absolute must!. Looking someone in the eye can come off as charming, or confident, or “normal”. When dealing with men (or maybe superheroes), you want to stare at their hairline. Even if it’s a good hairline. Keep staring.It’ll get to them. With women, you’re gonna wanna stare at theirfriend’s breasts.

  3. Quit reading things – Newspaper, the Internet, your mail, this blog. Reading only leads to thoughts and eventually all that thought will manifest into some form of something you might want. But that’s not waht this list is about, and that’s what you want, stop reading.
  4. No tipping – If you ever have to tip someone, and I mean have to (say your new girlfriend’s dad is a valet), ball up the money and throw it as far away as you can. Fun fact: If you ball up three or four fifty sen coins in a ringgit bill, it goes really far – if you know how to throw.
  5. Say no to doing fun things – like going out to dinner, having friends over to your home, any kind of travel, babysitting a young child, or working on a movie with Owen Wilson and the Farelly brothers.
  6. Trip people – do this everywhere, And often. (Warning: This one can lead to some undesired roughhousing)
  7. Steal batteries from family and friends – anytime you’re at a loved one’s home, find the portable devices, crack ’em open, and snake the batteries. And don’t forget: Those elusive 9-volt batteries may be found in most smoke detectors.
  8. Be mean to children – And rude to animals. If you can orchestrate for children and animals to be pitted againts one another, always do so. It’s about putting fort a little extra effort on a karmic level.
It’s fun to share and I’m still laughing while tyoing this =D

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